Five blasts happened in Delhi today. I’m surprised how many of our family relatives called up to ask if we were OK. Although I can understand that on most Mondays people feel like blowing up a few government babus, thinking of RKP as a target is a joke. I was thinking of hotfooting it to Ghaffar Market. To stuff a few iPhones into my pocket (there must be a few lying around), and then selling it to suckers on eBay at a fat profit. Cellphone networks have gone down too because of all the hysteria – SMS centres are down, GPRS is slow, phones are unreachable. Do everyone a favor by not flooding the cellular system and DON’T PANIC.

As usual, the ‘news channels’ are having a gala time. They got hold of some kid who says he saw the baddies, and asked him the question which has to be on everyone’s mind right now – “Aapko kaisa lag raha hai?” (“How do you feel about that?”). Poor lad, had to improvise something out of thin air.

photo The real culpritsGiven what happened last time blasts happend, I think I can predict what will happen this time. In earlier cases (like Jaipur and Ahmedabad) terrorists strapped bombs onto cycles. So what did the police do? Promptly issued notices to all cycle shopowners to demand for identity proof before selling a cycle. Get a clue! Those who use cycles are mostly migrant labourers who aren’t that likely to tote around PAN card or a voter ID. Bombs are the problem, not the cycles. Using the same logic, we can arrive at the conclusion that the ‘culprits’ in Delhi’s case are dustbins – since the terrorists left bombs in dustbins this time. I’m pretty sure Delhi Police (Bhith You, Phor You, Allbej) will soon announce they are going to remove each and every dustbin from the city. Maybe I’ll need a license now for the wastepaper basket in my room.

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